even when....

even when.... love hurts so much....
physically my heart is in pain...
my eyes continue to stream tears of loss
thoughts are constantly of you...
wondering if ever....
it was real love...
we've both said the words to each other...
even expressed it through our tender actions....
no...not just the physical.....
yes...the real....
actions of connected affection...
talks of what we've been through...
what is now...
and....what we are looking towards...
even when...love has hurt....so much....
I continue to miss...you...us...we...
even when love has hurt....so deep...
I still continue to believe....
and pray....

My Self-Love....a journey...

Sometimes we may not have all the answers....or maybe the time is not right to hear them because we cannot fully overstand what the true lesson is within what we just encountered. One thing I am learning is to not be selfish & realize everyone has there own journey they must go through....and as we ebb & flow through each other's life force....we give & take....share...love....learn...that which we were meant to exchange. The most important thing is to realize when you have to go at it alone....walk through the smoke to come out on the other side....full of wisdom & experience.....know that we all have a spirit on the other side that has gone through the same event...as a parallel to your own experience. I always talk of spirits sharing & intertwining in a helix, which is filled with so much circumstance.....it can be confusing/frustrating/or even hurtful...but know in the end it was all with PURPOSE. Self-love is powerful. ALWAYS be AUTHENTIC to yourself, your feelings, your emotions, your thoughts....know what your heart speaks is the true essence of what is in your soul...no matter how others may judge...love yourself to know what language your intuition speaks. Just some of my thoughts.....as time answers & eventually heals...overstanding what love can be....people are always brought into each others life with with a purpose..as the connect deepens...it is rich in wisdom for each others journey +love+ +♥ +

Wil Milton & Rodney Carter introducing Butterfli Gypsi P - Gypsy Love - Traxsource.com - the best House Music WAV and MP3 downloads

Wil Milton & Rodney Carter introducing Butterfli Gypsi P - Gypsy Love - Traxsource.com - the best House Music WAV and MP3 downloads

A passion for singing was always in me, but I was way too shy to let that side of me out. When I was younger I was in a choir for 3 years, and then tried a freestyle "group" amongst friends. But that lasted a very short time as we only rehearsed. Never actually came out with a song, or recorded for that manner, lol!!! As I got older and became emerced in the NYC underground house club scene....my passion for singing came out again.....but only as the DJ played a favorite song, LOUD, so no one could hear me!! Some folks who are very close & dear to me, heard my little whispers of singing, and suggested I pursue my journey through it. Wil Milton was one of my closests friends, who for years have tried to get me out of my "shell" when it came to singing...but I never felt ready.....until now.
Over the past 5 years, I have been going through intense changes in my life, which spawned me to write my thoughts down. This eventually lead to my bloggy. It allowed me to write freely, letting out my journey without fear & knowing there might be those who can relate. As I continued to write.....these past 5 months have been so intense that I needed to put these thoughts out through song & music, as that is my ultimate release. As I continue to deepen my awareness of Self-Love....and grasp the light in the situations I have found myself in....I share a song that means so much to me.....as it is a L-O-V-E which goes beyond our physical plane.....

click on the above link....blessings & I hope you enjoy it!!!

LOVE.....Soul/Spirit Love

It's been awhile since I have been able to sit with a glass of wine & get on my keyboard & express.. So many whirlwinds I have gone through just in the past 5 months....and it is all surrounding my reflections on LOVE.....
I have constantly read that in each life, we are in search of our "other half", our soul mate....the being that matches us and raises our awareness physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually....we raise each other up. And even when we believe we are not on this quest....in reality...we always are. Book after book....all the literature I have read states that every person has there soul mate on this plane....and we are destined to meet. The worker is....when we do meet....we need to be aware of each other's energy...ready to accept & open our hearts to what's in front of us. The problem then becomes....some of us might have been through so much in our lives, we are fearful when we feel too deeply for someone & back away from this energy that feels so right!! We make excuses as to why it can't be the person in front of us, and sometimes keep searching for our "blissed" relationship in people we KNOW are not right for us. They might have a connection in just one category...such as physically...but all the other connections are lost. So why do we let the "right connections" go? It is a question I have been contemplating for a while now, which I still do not fully overstand.

Sometimes, when a "love" feels so right....it becomes very difficult to let it go....but maybe if it was so hard to maintain in the 1st place....it was maybe just a lesson in "love"....in preparation for a more authentic journey/relationship...

I know what love shouldn't be is hurtful, possesive, games, stifling, abusive, or a struggle....
It should always be authentic, respectful, trusting, honest, full of communication, uplifting, a meeting place for two souls to truly intertwine...

As the memories cross my mind.....I ask for a reflection of the lessons I have learned as well as accepting what my heart truly feels...

ALWAYS be AUTHENTIC to yourself, your feelings, your emotions, your thoughts....know what your heart speaks is the true essence of what is in your soul....